Preface: This weekend, a family that I became very close with at work came into town. My girlfriend is EXACTLY like me, and her husband is so laid back and just a good guy. Their two kids are adorable. This is what I want, right?
I was walking home from Trader Joe's yesterday, and I was thinking these things through. Being neurotic, of course, I was flying between two mutually exclusive things. The ideal American life of a home, white picket fence, kids, and an adoring husband.
or
This independence that I had craved for so long and finally achieved. Shopping whenever I wanted, watching TV in bed all day because I could, sleeping in until I felt like getting up.
Then, I'm in the lobby of my building, waiting for my friend, and a girl (unmarried) who I used to work out with comes in from outside stumbling with a random guy. I know he's random because he's not the guy I saw her making out with at the pool yesterday. She either doesn't notice me, or is too drunk to notice me because I am clearly staring, and her eyes can't focus in one place for more than a minute. She has to watch where she's going and push her tilted leprechaun hat upright before it falls and she looks even sloppier. In her high heels, she looks a bit like a drunk clydesdale stomping around to find her footing.
I wonder why I even question the life I want when I see people like that. I don't want to be alone when I'm 30. The dating world is vicious, and I don't want to be a drunk clydesdale. I want to be held in the arms of the one who loves me surrounded by my family.
Somebody better damn sure fix that picket fence.
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